6:11 am
it is too early for my simple ass to be laughing like this 😂 😂 😂 https://youtu.be/4j9x_vPefn8

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12:49 pm

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10:10 am
woke up feeling like:

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10:01 pm
in some ways i view this as a conversation with one’s higher self. and it hit me that sometimes we can tell ourselves the truth and still have trouble believing. this is edited a little from the original but clearly roland is having issues digesting what he was being told, and this was after he was given an awesome vision that showed him only a snippet of what was being explained to him. even though he grew up in a world where unexplained and magical things occurred on a regular, his finite mind still denied or couldn’t accept the infinite. his social conditioning to an extent, was preventing him from gaining that knowledge. he couldn’t deal (in my opinion) that things he was taught about his world and as an extension, how he carried himself and even what he believed about himself are wrong. i am not even trying to understand the universe yet, just myself, and i feel i am facing the same mental roadblocks. 
https://youtu.be/teO8xFW1-CI

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10:29 am in some ways i view this as a conversation with one’s higher self. and it hit me that sometimes we can tell ourselves the truth and still have trouble believing. this is edited a little from the original but clearly roland is having issues digesting what he was being told, and this was after he was given an awesome vision that showed him only a snippet of what was being explained to him. even though he grew up in a world where unexplained and magical things occurred on a regular, his finite mind still denied or couldn’t accept the infinite. his social conditioning to an extent, was preventing him from gaining that knowledge. he couldn’t deal (in my opinion) that things he was taught about his world and as an extension, how he carried himself and even what he believed about himself are wrong. i am not even trying to understand the universe yet, just myself, and i feel i am facing the same mental roadblocks. https://youtu.be/teO8xFW1-CI

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7:28 am i have been up since 5:38 smh

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(7:26 am)

it is my opinion that the majority of love is conditional and while i may not get all the way on board with this video, for the most part he is right. speaking in my general experience anyway. you can’t truly know a person until they show all of their sides. speaking for myself, i am quick to lash out when i am mad. and this video did get me to thinking, why am i doing my best to bring down someone i supposedly love? is that real? and i’m not even saying i don’t have a right to be mad when it happens, just that i do not have the right to go full metal jacket on a nigga because he forgot to get me a soda or whatever. have i been conditioned to believe that dysfunctionality (yep, just made that up i think) is ok to model for my kids? it’s kinda hard to face just how mentally screwed up i am sometimes, i won’t even front.

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