Everest is tripping, them and the laptop they sent. Just been 1 of those weeks I suppose. Me and babydaddy seem to be bumping heads a lot lately. He even threatened to move out the last argument we had. Which…nvm. Then the doctor’s appointment and shit. Blah. Seem like its been a walking on eggshells kinda week.
Anyway. Nick made chicken and waffles for breakfast (more like brunch now lol), so let me go eat.
My social worker called me. Hopefully I’ll be back in the system by Monday so that I can get my meds. Yay for little victories.
Maybe. Dr. Condrey said she felt like it is probably just an abscess, she swabbed it anyway. That shit hurt like hell too. She prescribed some antibiotics that I’ll have to take 4 times a day. Thing is, I just found out my medicaid ran out and my prescription is like $129. So no meds for me until I either get reinstated or sell some ass. The way social services has been acting lately, I’ll probably end up selling ass. And shit, I’m still scared. Just cuz she say it ain’t cancer don’t make it true, and I do have a few family members that had/have cancer. I even cried telling the dr cancer was the 1st thing I thought of. So. Yea, I’m scared. It would be so fucked up if I finally gave up smoking just to get mouth cancer anyway. I let Gray know how much it costs but…you know. Trying to cheer myself up by listening to both my baby daddies. At least get my mind off having to wait until Monday for those fricking test results. Imma need more vodka..
“…all I wanna do is feel love, even if I know it ain’t real love…” Ugh. Lot on my mind. Love this song tho. Kendrick Lamar is my new baby daddy lol.
Hopefully this post will do that. I don’t even know how to frame it….since Friday I think…she hasn’t really talked to me. Or if she has its been like short, clipped responses. I don’t know why, like I said she’s not really talking to me. Maybe she has company, if that’s the case I can understand her not wanting me in her business. I just feel like its me…for whatever reason she doesn’t want to talk to me. I want to send her an email but I don’t dare. All that has ever done is made shit worse, cuz all I can do is speculate and I’m usually way off. Like I was when I tried to talk to her on yahoo this morning. But, I mean, all I can do is ask questions even if doing so makes me look like an ass. Times like this…..I don’t even know what to say. I just feel down not knowing whats going on with her. I’m really looking forward to next month and I am not trying to do anything that will jeopardize that. Lemme get some homework done before the day gets too far gone.