Monthly Archives: July 2013

Laying low

I woke up in a good mood today. On a Monday at that lol. So I think I will just keep a low profile; kinda keep to myself. See if I can keep this mood going.

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Religion issues..

So like, i’ve talked about how I sometimes go to church with the kids and bd and my lil church duties. But like I said, I don’t go all the time. Now I find out they want me to be there every Sunday ~sigh~ but aight. I mean, bd know I don’t do church like that but I guess he don’t feel comfy telling his family why. I get it though, the church is still in it’s infancy stage and there are a lot of jobs that need to be done, I don’t mind helping. Its just….organized religion ain’t my thing. And it goes beyond me being bisexual; I’ve had issues with the church way before I realized I’m attracted to both women and men. Idk. I’ll figure it out.

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Adventures in babysitting

I have been keeping Mackenzie {El Crazy} for a lil minute now. She is so so so pretty, has the cutest eyes, and she is so bad lol. She is a trip. For some reason she likes to pinch and scratch on me, she’s a moody lil baby, and even when she gets her way she is mad about something. She makes my day tho, love keeping her. I decided I wanted to go to Avenue’s to get us something to eat. We caught a cab over there, sat down and ate. She had a ball; the place was bout empty so I let her run around a lil. When it was time to go, I figured we could walk….which, wth was I thinking as hot as it was today. But, it wasn’t really that long of a walk. I mean, it is but it’s not. So I’m carrying the baby, my tea, a diaper bag, and my purse. Ugh I was all kinds of hot and sweaty on that walk. By the time we made it back to the house, both of us were so hot we just laid on the floor lol.

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Everest says there’s an issue with my loan so I may not be able to continue next semester. Worst case scenario it’ll be semester after next when I go back. Ah well, I can put some (more) apps in for some part time work in the meantime.

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Ha, I got holla’d at today when we were walking home. Made me feel a lil good. I mean, like I said I was all kinds of hot and sweaty, lil bummy looking carrying a baby. Dude walked past like, whatcho name is? and kept saying it, so I thought he was singing that Kirko Bangz song. He said it 1 more time looking back at me. I was like, huh? He asked me my name and I was like oh. Tried to give me his number, talking bout he got that loud….ok I ain’t even mention dude was fuuuuuuuuucked up. He was high and drunk (it’s like 3 in the afternoon on a 90+ degree day), slurring his words and shit. I barely understood his ass smh. Seemed disappointed when I said I live with my bd. Told me where he be at in case I “ever want to hang out” {eye-roll} and kept it moving. Like I said, kinda made me feel good considering.

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Lol, my kids are going to eat me out of house and home. I’m laughing, but it ain’t funny. they are getting so big. Ny and I will be are sharing clothes…no bullshit….she is 9 and I can wear some of her clothes and shoes. Nick passed me in shoe size, I tried a pair of his on the other day and they flopped on my feet. Big ass kids lol.

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I am not ok…

But that’s my problem. I caused this mess… I tried to make myself feel a lil better today. You know, fave dress and earrings, cute shoes. It didn’t help. Maybe I need to get some air, try to shut my mind up.

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Tammie’s lil sister’s party is today. I’ve been getting housework done so it won’t be any issues when it’s time to go. I tried to get him to go but he don’t wanna, so whatever.

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I logged on and struggled not to gift to her. I know how she feels and I am trying my best not to foul up her mood anymore than it has been.  I’ve just been trying to let her know I am here without getting in her way. I feel her….I know she needs this time to herself.

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Happy 4th

I don’t even know why I’m writing right now. I’m getting high, supposed to be entertaining. And its not like I’m even bored, just tuned out like I do sometimes. I was gonna take a pic to put up, but I’m full and now with the rellos going and libations flowing, I don’t feel like it. Baby daddy and his cousin tripping, arguing about stuff that happened in high school. It was funny 3 rellos ago, now I just want them to shut up. Ugh. Wish I had something to read, can’t tune them out all them out all the way.

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